Merc Rule 10

Written by J. D. Wiley --- Art by J. D. Wiley

Merc Rule 10: The key to the best sex of your life is a locked door. -Lonewolf Crosby

Jennings ‘Lonewolf’ Crosby is a strange one. And not just ‘cause he wears two dusters, one over the other. That merc has a knack for getting kicked outta crews on account of being a bit… high strung. Being on the road can build an itch in a man something fierce. But most mercs—ladies and fellas alike—wait ‘til they get back into town to handle their business at the local cat-house.

But not Lonewolf. No, sir. If he’s got an itch, that ol’ boy’s gotta scratch it. And after a hard day’s work, walking in on another fella “scratching” ain’t exactly what most mercs have in mind. Not unless they pay for that kinda thing.

Lonewolf’s plenty handy in a scrap. But he’s been kicked from so many crews that word has gotten around. Not a lot of folks are apt to hire a gun with that kinda… history behind it.

In the bloody business, that’ll get you booted every time. Maybe not on the first offense, but five nights running? Well… mercs ain’t a real forgiving sort. Even the most gritty, grungy, and nasty bastards only have so much tolerance.

That kinda activity ain’t real conducive to being on the road with a bunch of dirty jobbers. Which, as Lonewolf will rightly argue, is the time you’re most in need of such release. Now, plenty of mercs been caught in the solo act. Fellas and ladies alike. There’s even a general, “don’t ask don’t tell rule” in place for such occasions. We try not to step on each other’s toes. No sense losing an eye or worse over getting into someone else’s business. Every merc knows that interruptions detract from that special moment. If you follow me.

But Lonewolf said it best, and his daddy before him. The best sex you’ll ever have is with yourself. ‘Course, the locked door makes a whole lot more sense with that preface. That ain’t to say the rule don’t apply in more situations than a solo affair. It all depends on how you feel about other folks barging in while you’re going heels to Jesus. Either way, there’s no mystery in how Lonewolf got the name.

Coyote Joe, Memoirs of a Merc

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